It's May now! The only thing better than May is June. I would argue that July and August aren't even better. I love the beautiful knowledge of summer coming almost more than it being here. There are some things that will just NEVER change.

I couldn't believe it when things started getting green a few weeks ago. I never remembered things getting so green! Or so many birds! Gosh i just get up in the morning and fling open the windows. I think, deep down, i believed spring would not come this year. I didn't realize it until I got shocked beyond belief by the beauty of it. I cry sometimes just from stepping out my door- it's not just the weather. Along with it comes hope, and despair seems to leave. Spring came inside me too--just in time. It was a long winter in more ways than one.

Lately, people have started doing their old thing again. So some of the lessons I learned...gosh, four or five years ago now!...are coming in really handy. And it's amazing the hurt i don't feel as a result! I'm awed at my ability to instead invest time in someone else, or just be happy alone. My life was so scary when i needed things from people- i needed certain friends not to fail me- i trusted. Yikes! Man that's a bad idea. Spouse being the only exception.

The baby's doing great; I'm doing great. The worst pregnancy side effects right now are being big, being unable to stand for long, and being asked a dozen times a day when i'm due and if it's a boy or girl and what i'm going to name him:) Well, and a few other symptoms i won't mention here!
My appetite's not increased, i usually don't have trouble sleeping, and I'm just super excited for what the next few months hold! I'm at 33 weeks, so he'll be born in about 7! Wow that's soon! We can hardly wait. I want him in my arms, and i want to see him in sam's arms. i can't wait to see his little face and everything about him! What does a SamMarlea look like? we're about to find out! I just can't wait to live his little life with him. I already feel fiercely protective- these instincts are crazy. It feels like this: "After what i went through the last 9 months to bring him into this world, don't you lay a hand on him!!" I can't imagine how much more i'll feel this way after i do the actual life-bringing!  I hope i don't strangle any well-meaning strangers with my bare hands!

WELL! on that less than friendly note...have a beautiful spring day:)

Wow i can't believe the last time i posted was before i started with Andy. Highview is great- i love middle schoolers (these ones in particular), Andy my cooperating teacher is great- i couldn't ask for better. He's teaching me so much. And best of all, i really do want to be a teacher!! After about four weeks of this placement, i was sitting at my desk one day before school started and i thought, "You know what--i really do want to be a teacher! I really do want to be a band director too!" It was so wonderful. And it stuck- i still feel that way. I've been getting a lot better (a result of Andy's helpful feedback- he's always telling me honestly what went well and what i need to do better. So great.) So that's how life is right now! Wedding plans come along well too. They're progressing. Invitations have  been the biggest thing so far--gosh that's a lot of work. i didn't make them, but just getting them all stuffed and addressed- addressed is the big thing. It takes forever to collect all the addresses because snail mail is so out dated- i don't even have a lot of people's addresses anymore! oh well- we're almost done with that. WE found a rehearsal dinner place which i'm thrilled about, and oh- best of all, we found a place to live! We'll be renting a house in Osseo. I can't wait to move in- we can start painting and moving our stuff in as soon as we are ready, and the lease officially starts May 15. neither of us is going to live there till we getback from the honeymoon, though. More fun that way:)

that's about all for now! I usually don't like the 'update-on-my-life' posts, but today i thought it was appropriate- because it's been a while. next time i'll try to come up with something more funny...or at least interesting.

break continues. how glorious. i really don't want to ever go back though! on Monday i start at the middle school. i hope i want to by then. i hope i want to teach in general. how bad am i supposed to want this? ok let's NOT get into that right now.
it is GORGEOUS outside. today i really didn't want to workout (i think it had something ridiculous to do with the fact that all i had to do the rest of the day was sit by the fire, read, journal, plan my wedding...) But i did get my rear in gear and go outside for a powerwalk routine on this big hill nearby. it was awesome. and i love that we live here where we have seasons.
i bought a flowergirl dress for my little niece-to-be a few days ago. it's adorable. lately i've also been working on decoration details and also making the bridesmaids' neclaces. i want one. and i want one of the dresses even more. no fair. (just kidding) The invitations are on in proccess. The showers are a blast.
Honestly though, Sam and i spend a lot more time thinking about, talking about, and planning for marriage than the wedding itself. that's what i'm really excited for.
that's all for now